The dreaded LIST

I know I'm behind on tips, but this is certainly warranted right away. The dreaded list, otherwise known as the formal shots you want of you, your spouse and your family and friends.

I want to thank Faye and Keith from California for being an amazing couple July 21 in Va. Beach. What they did was great. They they illustrate why my recommendations work.

What I recommend, and what happened. And this is the same advice I give everyone:

We are a photojournalism studio. We let the day flow. We know formal pictures are important, but they should not dominate the day. Post-ceremoney, we take about 1o shots, and try to never go over 15. Why? Shots take 2-3 minutes each. Sure, a shot of the bride and groom takes a minute, but a shot with grandma, uncle Bob and aunt Rita and the bride and groom takes 2. Then add in more people -- getting them to the altar and posed properly, takes 3 minutes. It averages out.

We will take as many formals as you want, but we recommend that you limit the shots. And here's the reason why: You get tired. You get sick of pictures. You, the bride and/or groom are standing in the same spot while everyone else has to maneuver. Your jaw starts to hurt. Seriously, it does after so many frames.

So, we work to minimize the post-ceremony shots by adding time during the getting ready shots to get each side's family beforehand. Any shots we can't fit, we move to the reception.

Now, honestly, I take a couple of shots beforehand, about 10 or so after the ceremony, and another couple at the reception. This is pretty typical, and it works well, so long as there is time scheduled for it all.

Faye and Keith put together a list of shots six pages long for me on July 18, a few days prior to the wedding. It actually wasn't as astronomically bad as it sounded. But I called to explain what I wrote above. And then I gave this piece of advice:

How many times do the same family members need to be in the pictures? Do parents need to be in multiple shots, sometimes yes. But do grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and other friends need to be in two or three pictures?

Will your friends and family want a shot of your wedding? Of course. But do you think they're going to buy two or three formals? Likely, they're only going to need one. So just put them in one picture.

Also, Faye and Keith didn't do this, but other couples have forgotten to put their wife or husband in the shots with them. REMEMBER, you two are getting married. You BOTH should be in EVERY FORMAL SHOT TOGETHER. Maybe one or two a part, but really, be there together.

So Faye and Keith took my advice and narrowed down the list. We still had shots before, after and during the reception.

But again, and time after time, this happens, nobody wants to have formals at the reception. You want to have fun, and drink and eat. So that's what you should do. Faye and Keith scrapped all four reception formals. And they have no regrets. They had a blast instead!

Think about this when you're making your list. And do the following:
1. Formals are must-have shots. Not an excuse to get a formal of every person you ever met.
2. Include both of you in the shots (except beforehand getting ready if you're remaining traditional.)
3. List the shots with every person's name in the shot. If there are 2 people, or 20 people, put all of their names in. Realize that anything over 10 people takes about 4 minutes to set up and take.
4. Think, do we really need this shot, or will the people in it really buy it?
5. Can we combine our shots? Can you put both families together for one group shot? Can my siblings and your siblings be in it together, etc. This speeds things up.
6. Is my jaw ready for this?
7. Did we play accordingly? If you have a one-hour cocktail hour immediately after the ceremony, we need 30 minutes for 10 formals, and 30 minutes for fun shots.
8. TELL EVERYONE on the list to be around for formals. Don't let them leave before being in the shot.
9. If possible, have a close friend or relative stick around to help round the families up for the shots. This too makes things run much faster!

OK, hope that made sense! Enjoy!